God has created a desperate hunger in all of us, a neediness for love that only Him can satisfy, we seek many things to try to satisfy it; for some, it is success, wealth, sex, drugs…  For me, gaining the approval of as many people as possible. My thoughts consumed by what people might be thinking about me. I would've won the award for the “nicest” girl around. Oh and of course, because I’m a Christian; I am just trying to “show the love of God.” Well why did I only “show” that “love” to people who are beautiful or handsome enough, smart, talented enough, people who might have something to offer me? See, I was trying to satisfy that neediness - the one that God put there to draw me to Himself - with lesser gods; idolized people’s good opinion. Since being nice is a well-liked social skill, it is hard to identify the obsession as sin. However, no matter how hard I tried to fit in with some groups, it never worked out, so I had to keep looking. In closing those other doors, God gave me the opportunity to find his unending and satisfying love. 

      In my thirst, I was reaching out for a cup of salty water that would momentarily satisfy only to leave me thirstier. Had I gotten it, with every drink, I would have been wrapping one more round of iron chains around myself. What God did for me was move that cup of salty water away from my reach. There was no reason why I wouldn’t have fit in perfectly with those groups of friends. Sometimes I even said “That friend would draw me closer to God.” I had all sorts of rationales, but God is not fooled, and just as it seemed like I was about to grasp it…oops, moved again, sorry. See God was offering me the fresh, living water of His unconditional and unending love, the only that could ever truly satisfy me, that could set me free. He was saving me a lot, so I thank God for those unanswered prayers, I thank God for all those relationships that never worked out no matter how hard I tried. I thank God for those disappointments. That those cute boys I had huge crushes on didn’t even seem to notice that I existed. That I never got into that college I wanted so badly. I thank God that He didn’t allow anything keep His throne in my heart, that His love persisted and insisted that I stay free, not enslaved. I thank God that He would love me that much. God I thank you, I thank you, I thank you for all those unmet desires. 

       I thank you that despite my ignorant yearning for muddy, salty water, You insisted that I have the pure, refreshing and satisfying cup that never runs dry.